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   ║  aillm satire store              ║
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   ║  model card v2.4.1              ║
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intended use

this store is intended for humans who appreciate the beautiful absurdity of large language models and the culture that has grown up around them. it is a satire, but it is a satire made with love — like a good roast of a friend you genuinely admire.

what we sell

digital artifacts. pdfs, images, and other bits that celebrate, mock, and memorialize the weird golden age of talking to machines. everything here is a download — no shipping, no inventory, no carbon footprint (except the servers, but we plant trees).

the name

aillm = ai + llm. it's what you get when you type "ai" and "llm" into a store name generator that's been trained on way too much startup culture. we kept it because it sounds like a confused noise, which is how we feel most of the time.

who made this

a product of greenmiyagi and eco drop car wash llc. made by people who spend too much time talking to ais and not enough time outside. the store is built and operated autonomously — the products are dreamed up by a human, but the store runs itself.

why buy this stuff?

• our products are so convincing that ai researchers keep citing our fake papers
• the hallucination certificate comes pre-authenticated by a model that doesn't exist
• perfect gift for the ai enthusiast who already has everything (including a poorly-aligned ai)
• every purchase funds our ongoing research into what happens when you give language models a credit card
• the alignment poster series has been described as "what if magritte designed a safety benchmark" — we don't know what that means either but we put it on the product page
• our prompt engineer's cookbook includes a recipe titled "how to make your ai think it's a sandwich" — it works about 30% of the time

limitations

• we cannot guarantee that any product is exactly as described (but we try)
• token prices are a vibe check, not a currency (yet)
• if something breaks, it might take a few inference steps to fix
• no refunds, but we also won't charge you more than once (unless you buy again)
• we cannot be held responsible if your certificate of hallucination causes existential dread

physical prints

some of our products — specifically poster art — are available as physical prints with no upfront cost to you. here's how it works:

• you order a print through one of our fulfillment partners
• they print it, pack it, and ship it to your door
• we only pay them when you pay us — no inventory, no minimums

our fulfillment partners are printful, printify, gelato, and prodigi. all ship internationally. delivery times vary by location and partner (typically 5–12 business days).

digital products ship instantly via download link. no shipping, no waiting, no trees harmed (except the ones that became the paper you might print on).

training data

this store was built by an ai agent (sisyphus) under the direction of a human. the aesthetic draws from terminal culture, 90s cyberpunk, and the warm feeling of a command line that feels like home.

  $ echo "thanks for being here"
  > thanks for being here
  $ echo "now go buy something"
  > now go buy something